She didn't say she was Trans / He didn't ask‼️30K Views / 2000 comments in 6 hours 😳

⚠️ Attention Followers‼️ We at Odyssey would like to put out a statement about an issue a week ago that occurred. Saturday September 26th,there was an event and a trans-woman (Mrs K) encountered a couple observing her session (not an issue). There was a large group play swing scene which included guest using wax play. This was not a locked scene, but a group session. There was a couple, Mr & Mrs B, observing and Mrs K asked Mr B if she could give a bit of sloppy. He obliged, and soon stopped. The couple went off to do their own thing with another group of people. The couple Mr and Mrs B messaged us asking if Mrs K was Transgender. We explained that we did not know. We did know but could not disclose that information. We wrote in our post "...it was confirmed that she was". They'd confirmed themselves from another attending guest.

Order of events Saturday.

• Mrs K was receiving wax play in a scene.
• Mrs K Stopped and ask the husband to give him...
• Mr B stopped the session afterwhile and withdrew.
• Mr & Mrs B asked if we knew if she was trans of which we said we do NOT know, and confirmed through another attending guest if Mrs K was Transgender- We explained, we did not know and they found out by someone else
• We asked Mrs K about the situation.

                                                           

• Mrs K stated that she'd been telling people she was T all night, but "...maybe they didn't hear me, or whatever."

The multiple situations:

1. Incident 1: Sloppy no asking

Mrs K had an issue of violation prior where she during an orgy gave a bit of sloppy to Mr P without asking during the orgy session. Mr P, later expressed he found out she was T, but not upset, but he still left the Lounge.

2. Incident 2: Glory-Hole

During a tour, I found her in the G hole room with the light out (which drew our attention as the interior dimly lit light isn't supposed to be out). There are 2 lights for the G room, one inside the room which stays on, and one outside that is turned on by the occupant letting people know someone is in there. An "Open for business light" if we may. As we made way to the room during a tour to describe the rooms rules, the curtain was pulled back to explain the (supposed empty) room and there she was in front as if she was ready to... She disputed that she was having a panic attack, we were confused as the bathroom is literally 1-2 ft away. 

And why are you on your knees if having a "panic attack" in the dark as if you were..." Her panic attack could absolutely be completely valid, but she was in the most compromising position upon discovery. The optics did not add up.

3. The final situation occurred Saturday Sept 26th as shown above.

See the first paragraph 

Response after Odyssey's post

Many in the Trans community have an issue with the facts of these situations. Although, our poor education on issues of transgender etiquette and mis-use of appropriate terms is 100% real on this matter. We need to better ourselves. But, the incident issues are real as well. Cis-gender folks (those who identify as the gender they are born) can undoubtably ask if they have this as a boundary, which can be argue that is cic-gender folks' responsibility. But the above issues have become a pattern that we can not ignore. We would like to share that although transgender folks do NOT have to share private personal details or gender. Cis-gender people feel they are entitled to know before going to the next level. The issue with this for transgender is the threat of physical violence, discrimination, and personal privacy. Her being a human-being and woman is real, a fact, but is not the issue. The patterns are.

We made a post on Fetlife about this incident. We stated that the Mr B withdrew his consent for his own reasons. We asked for some kind of transparency from either party. As we have been welcoming the LGBTQ community for a short period, we made the mistake of asking that discussion should be had. A simple "Hey, I am T..." This seemed to have been a major mistake and we have heard a lot about it. Outraging the trans community of which we welcome. 

How do you ask this question? What if the person is not? "ooops" What if they are and they feel its invasive? "Damn" Do you ask or do they say it? 

A lot has been said and we are not the judge or juror of what should and should not be done. Some of the issues have been that Trans people do not need to disclose their gender. In the current climate, this is true. We aren't the law on this and have no opinion on if people should even say they are T... or not. Or, if they should disclose their gender. That is definitely a private matter that is no different than medical disclosure. We have apologized and do apologize for our ignorant education on Trans topics on multiple occasions and we are working on educating ourselves more on the topic. We have currently paused hosting trans folks until we better educate ourselves on these topics so we may be better equip to make sure they are safe. Or until we have an ambassador who would act as a liaison specifically to keep things in well order. Many within the community say that we have "Banned" trans people. We have NOT. We feel it is best to educate ourselves so that we can ensure comfortability and safety.

Our initial post can be found on our Fetlife account (OdysseyLoungeRDU). Link can not be posted. FB may ding it.

Bottom line the current climate is that Transgender people do not have to disclose their gender. Cis-Gender are within their right to wish to be informed, but MUST in sexually charged venues or parties during encounters, discuss their boundaries more clearly if they are uncertain. There is the risk of seeming rude if they are not transgender but is cis-gender, but it is what it is in these times.